How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People by Leslie T. Giblin

Author:Leslie T. Giblin [Giblin, Leslie T.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781101659243
Publisher: Penguin Group US
Published: 1985-11-01T07:00:00+00:00

Relax—and take it for granted that you’ll be liked

In any human relations situation, it does not pay to be overly-anxious, to let the other person know you are practically drooling to get what you want.

The other person has a strong natural tendency to balk at any action he feels you are “red-hot” for his doing. His instinct will be to drive a harder bargain or he may become suspicious that things are not as they seem. When you give the impression that you want the action very much, when you show anxiety—you also start him wondering why you are trying so hard, and doubts creep in.

When a person comes begging for friendship—the tendency is to back away from him. This is due not to some perverse trait of human nature—but to the same law of psychology we have been talking about. The eager-beaver is afraid—deathly afraid—the other person will not like him, or will not do what he wants. Instead of saying to himself, “I know the other fellow is going to like me,” he says to himself, “I am terribly afraid he won’t like me.” This gets across to the other person. The eager-beaver isn’t showing any faith in himself.

The trick is not to knock yourself out trying to make the other fellow come through. Just relax, and know that he will be friendly and reasonable. Then you’ll be relaxed and calm and collected in dealing with the other fellow. One thing the eager-beaver can do is smile. It’s almost impossible to be worried and anxious while you’re smiling. A smile is relaxing. A smile shows confidence. A smile shows that you “just know” the other fellow is going to come through as expected.

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